Friday, October 23, 2015

A Letter To All People Pleasers

Disclaimer: I wrote this post a while ago and kept playing with it because I really wanted my point to come across clearly. I know it's different from my normal content on this blog, but I hope you'll appreciate it anyway. 


If you're anything like me, you never understood the concept that not everyone is going to like you (you as a general, not specifically me). I always thought well if you're a nice person and you're respectful (insert other positive characteristics here) then why wouldn't someone like you? Which leads me to people pleasing.

No one wants to be disliked, it's not a pleasant feeling. So us people pleasers try to blend into the social environments we're in, we make sure we're very politically correct, and ultimately we don't rock the boat. It took me until recently to realize that you can try to please as much as you like, but it still won't be enough for some people. Because the FACT of the matter is: you could be the most perfect person in the world and STILL not everyone is going to like you. Further more, it's okay that not everyone will like you. You don't need everyone to like you!

Unfortunately I learned this the hard way, and although I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, it was one of the most eye opening experiences of my life. I learned to care less about other's perceptions of me and let go and just be myself. Because at that point, if you don't like me when I'm really trying to please you, what do I have to lose by being 100% my weird, enthusiastic, awkward self? I learned to love my personality and who I am. I took on a "take it or leave it" attitude. I am who I am and if you don't like me then that is absolutely okay. It is truly in the toughest situations where you learn to say screw it, I love myself and that's all that matters.

So to my fellow people pleasers, be polite, be kind, but also yourself. Don't hold back from sharing your opinions just because it might not match up with someone else's. Don't let other's perspectives of you influence your own perspective of yourself. The people you want in your life will love you unconditionally.

With love,

Esra